Yard-lopnik: the curse of the immortal rose

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
07/24/2016 at 17:56 • Filed to: Did something happen to the Celica?

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This thing is really amazing. When we first bought the house, a massive windstorm literally ripped it from the roots. I replanted it, propped it back up, and held it upright with a system of bungie cords. Now it is immortal, produces tons of flowers with no real maintenance, and grows out several feet within a month. It frequently gets to the point (heh.) where you cannot get in our out of a car, or enter through the mud room, without being stabbed by a nice thorn.

We plan to cut it way back down and some point, but it provides a lot of shade, and privacy to the side of the garage.

Well thanks for reading my stupid story.

Have a dog.

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DISCUSSION (8)


Kinja'd!!! Agrajag > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/24/2016 at 18:03

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Gets to end of post. Wonders if something happened to Celica. Scrolls back up to double check.

Well played.


Kinja'd!!! smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/24/2016 at 18:12

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I have an 8-foot tall rose bush too. It’s immortal until I tried to trim it which apparently nearly killed it. I just let it be now (though it’s not blocking anything important so it doesn’t matter).


Kinja'd!!! Urambo Tauro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/24/2016 at 18:16

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In my driveway, cars take a very firm priority over vegetation. It’s technically two cars wide, but in order to leave room for doors to be opened, both vehicles must be parked at the edge of the pavement so that there’s some room between them. So, anything within 3 feet of the edge of the pavement gets cut.


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Urambo Tauro
07/24/2016 at 18:17

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Since mine is only 1-car wide (with some elbow room), many things are allowed to continue to live.


Kinja'd!!! gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/24/2016 at 18:39

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how large is this bush in relation to a ...... celica?


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas
07/24/2016 at 18:45

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Glad you asked, friend. It is approximately 0.75 spherical Pontiac Vibes.


Kinja'd!!! Xyl0c41n3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/24/2016 at 19:29

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Dang! That thing is huge!

People always think roses are super difficult to cultivate, but they’re really not. They’re super hardy. You can take a cutting from that plant, stick it in the ground and watch it take root and form a nice little clone of the original.

Just a word of advice, though... Rose bushes thrive even more when pruned. They come back bigger and better pretty much every time, so I’d go easy on the pruning if you want to limit the size.

Also, cute puppeh is cute. :)


Kinja'd!!! X37.9XXS > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/25/2016 at 08:43

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When I lived in the UK, in a converted manor house, there were two huge rose bushes by the gate. The blossoms were so large that you needed two hands to hold them.

Research found that these roses were first mentioned in local history around 1538